Over and over and over and over again

So after Momentum Jo, Ben and I rushed back so I could get to work, which I did (2-6pm).

After work It felt strange not to be heading to a meeting, to worship, to learn. So we went to small group. Had a wonderful time of fellowship, worship and prayer (in that order), really nice to share a little bit about Momentum with some people drowning in the Lord and then worship together. Lovely.

(We sang the song 'healer'. Controversial but excellent)

A thought came to my mind of something Amy Orr-Ewing said in a seminar about thoughts in Worship. She asked 'what do you think about when you worship?'

I thought this a stupid question ... 'We focus on the Lord, we strain for more of him, we want to hear his voice'

I think I might have been wrong.

At momentum I had started thinking about lots of different things, in particular I had imagined some of my non-chrisso friends worshipping with me, wow what a sight! Joy!

At small group I realised this, and let my thoughts go wherever they could.

I wrote down this in my phone...

It is so easy to sit in Worship straining to concentrate on the Lord. Straining to make your mind blank and clear so he can speak to you. When in fact worship is creative and diverse. Worship is meant to be full of God given distractions; thoughts planted, visions seen, excitement grown. JOY. Bring on new worship.

And this is my excitement, the hope and wonder that I now can worship God more freely and he can speak to me more elaborately.

COME ON JESUS.

Oh no, we won't stay silent

Wow, what a week at Momentum.

So much learnt, so many challenges, a heart continuing to be transformed for love and incredible times of worship.

LOVED IT.

What I thought was really nice was some of my good friends from Durham meeting some of my good friends from Southport, getting on and forming friendships. Jo Rowe proclaimed on the way home that he is going to miss Dave Simpson. That brought me joy!

It was ace to meet new people; from Durham, Lucy's brothers, and one or two others, a really special time of family and fellowship.

Cafe Uno was simply OUTSTANDING, Our Dad excellent. We danced the night away to smooth funky jazz each evening (very sweaty), enjoyed wonderful mile high cakes, met some lovely people, and had such a fun time. I fear my sweat and excitement weren't the best first impression... ah well!

I didn't go to every seminar possible but went to some that challenged my heart. A couple stood out. Frog and Amy Orr-Ewing are spot on, bought their book called deep, and plan to go deep with it (deep down in my heart). As was Graham Cray, a seminar on culturally significant church planting that blew me away, words that resonated in my heart and sparked off ideas, dreams and a nervous heart beat...! He seemed to speak right to me.

(I hadn't clicked that he was a mate of my Godfather... quality... I know people who know people, be careful)

The worship blew me away, with Tim Hughes at his very best, with songs that set my heart alight, with touches of the Lord that amazed me, with testimonies of healing and with time to really come before God.

The teaching was excellent. i was devastated when I heard Mike Erre wasn't going to be preaching because he had to be at home, and a little sad when I heard that Jo Saxton would be preaching (not sure why...), but she then went and had me in awe for three consecutive mornings. Her words on Covenant really spoke to me and encouraged me, and she delivered them brilliantly. Very very very anointed and good. Crofty spoke a little as well, he was good. He goes deep. Big Mike did the rest, still on form with the comedy, and continues to rip Andy Croft and Tim Hughes which is brilliant! I realised that all he speaks about is Gods love. Its awesome. I love listening to him waffle on for ages about how we are free in Christ, we are covered by grace, we have no guilt or shame, we only have love. I love him talking about his weakness (even though he is clearly very blessed with talent), and I love his honesty about his life with the Lord. He was ace.

All in all, best week since House-Party... if not a bit better.

I would love to carry on writing about it, but for fear of repetition I shall stop (limited vocab and that).

Good Jesus, Good Bible, Good friends, Good music, Exciting future.

Banter

I dislike that word, but use it to describe an excellent week of fellowship at Adcote. In which I made some quality new friends, had so much fun and probably made a bit of a fool of myself by sharing a little bit too much of me and my loud voice.

Still it was wonderful. Great young people. Great team. Lots of fun.

Immense theme, excellent video, real family.

You've got to hold and give, but do it at the right time...

All the people I love are here...

After House-party (what a week), Adam drove me and Sarah to North Wales to meet up with the Parents, Andy and Lucy, the Harris' and the Hughes'.

It was lovely. Relaxing with your best friends, your family, in the comfort and beauty of the Llyn Peninsula doesn't get much better. We were blessed with surprisingly good weather, which allowed us to have two days on the beach, body-boarding, building damns, playing boule and cricket, swimming out to the rocks and generally chilling with Friends.

It was ace to see all the Brays together, and to begin to celebrate Uncle Bernie's 60th birthday.

Family, including the Harris' and Hughes' made me Joyful.

I think we were sorry to leave ....

(but then came Momentum)

Give it away give it away give it away now

I was asked to do a talk at Adcote CYFA camp this year with the title "Have a nice life... ? A call to sacrifice", and I wondered why? What experience do I have about Sacrifice? What does this arrogant, immature, foolish Christian know about giving up his life for Christ?

I didn't spend long in preparation beforehand (assuming there would be time during the week, in fact I just had not been willing to sacrifice any time or effort before house-party... hmmm) but had some vague jottings about Stephen, the Apostles and my life. Not really anything to start a talk on.

As the week went on and I heard God talking through other people he began to shape thoughts in my head, and then the saturday afternoon before the Sunday morning when I would speak, I decided to spend time working out what it would be I would talk about. I believe God spoke to me.

(this is where this post gets a little bit helpful rather than just waffle)

He showed me that Jesus actually does call us to sacrifice our lives. He showed me examples in the Apostles of real Christians who were really willing to do so, willing to be persecuted, imprisoned, battered, disowned, attacked, crucified and killed, for their Lord. He challenged me about what I sacrifice... (what do I sacrifice?).

But then with the most clarity spoke to me about JOY (not for the first time).

These apostles loves the Lord their God with all their hearts and suffered for it, yet we read in acts that the rejoiced in the suffering (How?), we read in the story about Stephen a humble, gracious, loving, forgiving, provoking, glorious man, even to his stoning and death, we see men and women living in sacrifice but living with life and life in all its fullness. How can life in its fullness be a life of sacrifice (I asked myself)?

He answered.

When we love the Lord with all our hearts, sacrifice for him doesn't seem so daunting. When we love the Lord with all out hearts, we begin to live life in all its fullness, we see wonder, we have joy, we are full of wisdom and knowledge, we see the fruit of the Lord, we live.

When we are joyful in the Lord, living life to the full sacrifice turns from a negative, unhelpful word (that dictionary.com gives a defintion of as 'Something so forfeited' ie relinquished, given up) to an exciting word of life, hope, wonder, humility and eternity. We take love and happiness from our sacrifice and from the Lord. What joy. What hope!

And when we are joyful with hope in our sacrifice the scary stuff becomes much less significant.

(I think I said it much better on the day, here I have waffled quite a bit).

I can move on from hang-ups about popularity, a girlfriend, a degree, a wife, a family, success, friends, and learn about living life in all its fullness in the Lord.

I can't imagine Stephen sighing and asking "Must I?" before he preached so boldly and powerfully.

The Drug-Lord

I have been blessed in getting a job at a pharmacy, after a month+ of looking I have had some shifts working just round the corner.

Pharmacies really highlight how much of a sick world we live in, people in care homes taking 10 different tablets everyday, drug addicts getting medicine to help them get off the drugs, to help them with alcohol problems as well as anti-depressants (ironic) to keep them happy.

Don't I know a Lord and Saviour that I believe is my healer?

There is freedom from drugs in our Lord, there is healing from Sickness in out Lord, there is hope in our Lord.

Because his grace is enough.

I wish I had the balls to tell people that.

Animal Bars are Nice

So it's been a while since I have felt like writing here, I have had an up and down summer where my relationship with God has been like a relationship on Facebook, I haven't put in enough effort, I have flitted back to him when it's easy and I have not chased him the way I should.

He is full of blessings nevertheless as his grace is more than enough.

I will try to sum up everything I have learnt at Houseparty, with Family and at Momentum. It has made this summer simply quality.

I have butterflies.