The Steering Wheel, the Map, the life...

At the start of this academic year I started telling people and myself that I would have to rely on the Lord to get through this year. I thought this a positive statement to make, acknowledging that he is in control and by him and only by him can I get through what seems to be a very very busy and difficult year of study.

What has changed that makes me suddenly think I need him?!

I need him in everything I do!

For too long I have been in control. Abba Father has been tapping me on the shoulder asking me if he can do it, telling me he is in control, for too long I have turned to him and arrogantly said "I can handle it".

When I really can't.

Who do I think I am?! What is this life I have been living?

Where is my humility? Why don't I come to him begging to help every morning, every minute?

What would life look like if I did?

Paul said "I can do all things through him who gives me strength", not "I can do most things on my own and then I only come to him when I really need help, when I am depressed and lonely, when I am lost."

I seriously hope my weakness is made perfect in him. I seriously hope he takes my foolishness and teaches me an essential, good, harsh lesson.

(Radiohead's 'Just' has come on... You do it to yourself you do...)

Unhappy Halloween

I have never, enjoyed the idea of Halloween. I do enjoy it though, getting together with friends to avoid all the trash outside. Last year was really nice, this year I expect to be the same.

I really didn't like walking back home from Durham City seeing all the Halloween decorations, seeing people dressed in costumes of Witches or vampires or devils or monsters, seeing children being led around by their parents knocking on doors... What is this?! What are we doing?

I think that tonight the devil sits back and smiles, we let him in to our lives, we encourage our children to mess with fictional evil things, that in turn makes the devil seem ok and acceptable, I really do not like it...

He has no place in this world, he has no rite to be here, he is not welcome.

(I hope I am not bigging him up too much....)